So, yeah...

My sincerest apologies for not blogging yesterday. It seems that I have a difficult time remembering to do this on Sundays as that is a day I generally reserve for simply spending time with my family. Anyway so I have a rough storyline completed for the Work piece and the viking now haws a bit more armor on. He also has a nearly completed spear that he will be able to hold in his hand. My watercolor is almost completely sketched out and I hope to begin painting today (*fingers crossed*). I'm still working on modge podge gatheringness which I hope to complete before I leave school TODAY!! Now that my report is complete, I can get into the soul searching a little.
I found an interesting quote that has nothing to do with any of my projects but that I would like to share. It was made by a character in a book that I read this weekend and talked about how people get into difficult situations because of curiostiy but it is their being to proud to ask for assistance out of the mire that keeps them from getting out of trouble. I think that I am sometimes that person. I dig myself into a ditch so deep that it is impossible for me to escape on my own yet I insist that I do not need any help in changing my circumstances. I feel like in my project I have to admit that I can't do everything on my own when I go looking for quotes for my modge podge, ask for advice on viking armor from my brother, ask my mom for help in getting my priorities in line, ask a teacher's opinion on the most pleasing way to arrange an object in a painting, and even when I get my inspiration for a story from an episode of a favorite TV show and many science fiction movies and books. The truth is, I know that I can't do things on my own. I know that sometimes I need help. The problem is:  I have trouble admiting when I am wrong.
You may have noticed that my picture for this blog reads "I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong". For a long time this was what I let people think that I thought of myself. I thought it was a good image. But then, my Freshman year of high school, I felt that I was putting on a different mask for every situation that I found myself in. Even at home I wasn't my true self. I could never just let go. So, as I and my siblings have done at various points throughout all of our lives, I went to my parents. I talked to them about what I was feeling. I admited that I was wrong and that I needed help. My mom told  me that I should do some serious soul-searching and find what parts of each persona that I adopted were really me and which parts were just me pretending so that I would fit in (which I never really have anyway and now that's OK with me; I still have friends and they like me for me). Today I think I will change my picture so something a little less pompous and see if that helps me to look for the me I should be everyday and to remind me that God is always there to hear my problems and will never deny me help that I request. I want to say that I really do love being in school. I love my family. I love church. I even love my job. I also love that there are people who love me who are willing to help me as soon as I overcome my pride and request their help. I encourage my readers (though I may not know you) to take up this call to ask for help when we need it and not sink down into a mire that is so deep that we fear there is no hope. But there is hope. All you have to do, is ask for it.

Jessie Jane

Changes, hmmm...

So I have made some changes to my projects from what they were originally intended:

• The Choices and Honor projects has become leather-working rather than wood working and I'm almost playing dress-up but in a very cool and difficult manner. I had forgotten that I knew how to do leather-working but I think that it's going rather well. I have also made use of other random objects which included some wood-working and also some metal-working. So I think that this has just become the worked materials project. Here's a picture of what it looks like so far: 
• In my painting I had originally planned to have the word Faith off to the side of the plant underground but I have now decided to have the roots of the small plant twine around the word and make it a part of them
• I have my story partly done. I will hopefully finish it by tomorrow
• I still have a little work to do on collecting things for the Joy in the Little Things project.

My mom asked me a question today that made me think a bit about what I'm trying to accomplish. My goal is to make changes in my attitude to help me be a better person. These changes are things I was taught but that I chose not to remember or acknowledge. My mom reminded me that changes are made through experiences and asked me how making all these art projects to remind me of various values was going to actually change me because I wasn't experiencing life trials that would actually cause those changes to occur with or without reminders. I think I have an answer. You know the saying "Going by the book..." or "That's how it is in my book..." or "Taking a page out of their book..."? Well, in my book the values got somewhat lost or misprinted (apparently I edited it badly) such that my book is faulty. This project is like a rewrite of my book where the mistakes that I chose to address are being changed to what they should have been all along. This change is so that when I do encounter situations that will give me experience in helping me to make a habit of the new changes, I will be able to open to that page in my book and have the proper answer to my question. For example, if I had a situation where I had to chose between work or family time (this is a choice I've had many times before and, as my parents put it, I keep having to make the decision all over again every time it comes up) I would waffle back and forth, stress, and just all around be indecisive because in my book it had misprinted such that I had never made a definite priority list for my lifestyle. Now that I have corrected that wrong through something concrete and in a way that was fun and enjoyable for me to complete, I can dwell on the proper answer to my question and focus more time and energy on questions that have more difficult solutions. I hope that explanation answers my mother's question. I honestly thought all day about it and that was what I came up with to best describe why I am making all these things. They are reminders of what I wrote in my book so that I can never misprint it again.

That's about it for the night. Any other comments or questions about this blog or my project are welcome and appreciated. It makes me think more and helps me learn better. Thanks Mom!! 

Jessie Jane

Going up the hill...

So in my excitement to share my good news of yesterday with the world, I forgot to complete an assignment given to my by my teacher yesterday. He requested that we state how a poem that we read in class relates to our project. The poem was "Courage" by Anne Sexton and this is how it relates to my work. One of the first lines is about the little things in life. Well, I have a whole subproject devoted to that. I believe that what the author is trying to tell us is that it is those small events in your everyday life that ultimately give you the courage to continue forward and get up every morning. Also she talks about how what many would call courage is not courage at all but pure love. It is love for me to put my family first in all things (although sometimes it takes a lot of courage to go against what others would say would be the right choice to make between family and that great other thing that I just HAVE to do). It is courage for me to decide to do five different art projects and complete them in less than a week's time when I would normally do them at a much slower pace. This is how the poem connects to my current work. With my work to come, however, there is more. In the poem the author describes a buddy saving the narrator's life and losing his own in the process. I am losing myself into the job of helping to save those who are homeless. I will always be me but I will be a better and stronger me for what I am doing with and for these people.
With my projects:

• As I said last night I have completed the Family project
• I'm about half-done with the Choices/Honor project
• I have the Faith project roughly sketched out and will clean up the sketch and begin painting tomorrow
• I am still collecting quotes and things for the Joy in the Little Things project
• I think I finally have a vague storyline for the Work project. It involves bad choices, good choices, and a time machine. I hope it works out. (*fingers crossed*)

That's about all I have except that I will be beginning Part 2 of the project on Monday and will explain more about what I'm going to do with that at a later date which is not today. Also I finally got to actually look at what my sources have sent to me and I am very happy because one sent me a video (haven't gotten to watch it yet but am very excited to see) and another sent me stats, graphs, and tables (I was infinitely ecstatic because I rather have a fondness for those kinds of things). I hope to begin the script for our presentation very soon. Blog ya later!

Jessie Jane

I'm walking on sunshine...

Today was full of good news and lots of development.

• The community activist got back to me and he also sent my email to others who could help and several of them answered my request for information. YAY!!! I think our group may just be able to pull this off. 
• I finally finished my first project. Here are some pictures:

This is the progression of this project  into the finished product. I'm rather happy with how it turned out. Each word is in a different color and those colors are significant. Family is in bright yellow because your family should be the brightest part of your life. Religion is in a varigated teal, blue, white, and purple because this particular thread reminded me of a similar one with which my brother created a God's Eye for our Christmas tree, you can see the parallel. School is in blue because my school's colors are blue and white. Work is in red because I work as a lifeguard and red is one of our chief colors. Last, Miscellaneous is in varigated green because I wanted the green to show wisdom in putting it last and the varigated to show that it is in constant change and flux.

Well that's about all I have. I wasn't able to really begin any of the other projects concretely but I have almost the entirety of all materials necessary for each project (I was missing some poetry and quotations for the Joy in the Little Things project). Anyway, there's not much else to say but goodbye!

Jessie Jane

More new firsts...

So today, as my title suggests, contained more new firsts. This would be in the arena of again talking to adults that I don't know and asking them questions and for help. EEEEK!!! Have I mentioned today that I really hate talking to new people? I'm actually incredibly shy but I pretend not to be. Truth is, I'm cringing away inwardly everytime I meet someone new because it's something new. Anyway, today I talked to our school social worker who was very nice and personable and told me that the group that my principal had told me about was actually at a different high school in town (LHS for those who want to know) and she was able to put me into contact with the community activist who works with these kids and he was able to give me information on someone else I might contact. BIG INTERCONNECTIVITY!! Very confusing and all that but I managed to make some headway. I sent off an email to the community activist and told him about our project and our goals for it. In his email to me he had mentioned a meeting for the students that were already in his group and invited me to it and anyone else I wanted to bring. I have decided to invite the entirety of the TAG program at my school in the hopes that a) "the more the merrier" is really true and b) this will in turn help them with their projects. Anyway, so in my email to him asked him to send me anything he thought would be useful in the creation of my group's presentation. I hope that he is prompt in replying to my email and with good info because I would like to give this presentation about the middle of next week (say Wednesday). That's my goal anyway. We'll see how it goes.
On a different note, here is the update for Part 1 of this project:

• I finished obtaining all the materials for my varied projects
• I am about half done with the family project
• I have sketched out the faith project and hope to start painting tomorrow
• I will start carving the Choices/Honor project tomorrow
• I will finish getting the poetry and quotes for the Joy project tomorrow and hopefully begin modge podging
• I will finally begin my story webbing tomorrow and probably finish the story over the weekend

I am very excited about all the developements I have been having in my project thus far and I look forward with anticipation to my next challenge. (That should have sounded brave and I will keep telling myself that I want it to be true. In truth, I hope that there are no more setbacks but I know that, as JK Rowling said "failure is inevitable." Here's to hoping I can postpone the inevitable until the end of this project.)

Jessie Jane

And it goes on and on and on...

So today I faced one of my biggest fears: talking to grown-ups about something serious. GAH!!!! Today I talked to three different teachers (two of which I had never met) and our school principal. The topic: part three of this project. Me and two other girls in my class (Lydia and Shanyah) came up with the idea to make presentation to our student body to raise awareness about the homeless population in our area and then hold a coat and/or scarf and/or blanket drive. CONTEXT!! The basic idea of part 3 was to find some way to assist the homeless population in our area. Well, that's not gonna happen. After talking to the various people listed above a new plan was decided. We would still give a presentation but it would be through Channel One and we wouldn't have to go out and find our own data from homeless people but could rather use resources already obtained by an organization at our school that was already in existence. Also instead of holding our own drive we could help support our schools DECA organization and encourage donations to their coat drive. Yay DECA!! So I still need to talk to the school social worker to present our case and see if we could assist with another program that's trying to get off the ground at our school that would also help with our goal of helping the homeless.
So, progress on part 2:
I now have pictures of the work in progress that is each of the projects with the exception of the piece of writing:

So hopefully the pictures speak for themselves if you have followed my blog thus far. I will be starting my painting (picture number 6) today after school and I will be starting the family project (pictures 1&2) when I get home today. Talk to ya more tomorrow!!

Jessie Jane

Moving forward...

So today I have a little bit of a twist for my blog. My teacher had us watch a commencement address by JK Rowling to the Class of 2008 at Harvard University http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/jk_rowling_the_fringe_benefits_of_failure.html (this is the link if you want to watch it yourself) and asked us to respond to some of the ideas that we felt most connected to that we saw in the video and maybe find some way to integrate them into our project. I had several. However, I'm only going to use three. The first one was that parents want the best for their children even when their children disagree that what Mom and Dad say is best really is. I feel like this is already a part of my project since so many of my values are based on things my parents taught me so that I would have a better quality of life. If that was not apparent consider this my official way of making a statement that I know that my parents want what's best for me and (*gasp*) they're usually right when they state an opinion of what would be best for me. The second one is a healthy and reasonable fear of speaking in front of people. This will be incorporated into Part three of my project during which I will be speaking (hopefully) to the entirety of my high school. THIS IS TERRIFYING!!! And for good reason. To appear before one's peers and say things that they may not want to hear is something that anyone would  fear. But to face that fear with grace and dignity and to persevere is what really counts. The last one was that "failure is inevitable." We cannot escape failure. It happens to everyone and the best thing we can do is continue to persevere through it and do our best to overcome it and come out ahead. This will be incorporated in this project because I know that I will have problems and encounter roadblocks as I progress, but I also know that I will never let those stop me. If something goes wrong, I will simply adapt my project to fit new criteria that will work.
Now for my project update:
As promised I have a vague idea of what I'm going to do for each representation:

• Family First- represented in a plastic canvas hierarchy wall hanging of family, religion, school/ work, other (in that order)
• Taking Joy in the little things- represented in a Modge Podge tile (most likely a tile that is subject to change) containing journal entry copies, poetry, book exerts, and quotes on the subject.
• Faith- will be a painting of a seed sprouting with the lyrics of a song I learned as a child in church going around the edge and background of the plant.
• Choices have consequences- this representation is undecided at the moment. I know I want to either carve something or buy an already made piece and change it/decorate it into what I want.
• Work- this will be represented in the form of a simple children's story that will outline the merits of doing hard and honest work. The work part will be the moral of the story. Exact storyline unknown.

Hopefully tomorrow I will have sketches of the built things and a web for the story. Also tomorrow I will probably be outlining my Part Three project which I am doing with two other girls in my class. That's all I have for today. Toodles!

Jessie Jane

The End of Research now on to Developement...

My sincerest apologies for not giving an entry yesterday. The time just got away from me. So as promised I have determined my crafts and the values they are to be matched with:
Value: Choices have Consequences/ Honor- I chose this one because everyday before we leave the house my mother always tells my siblings and I "Be Honorable and make Good Choices." Even though I have been told that everyday of my life, I seem to have neglected to adhere to it's meaning. I have made some choices that were neither good nor honorable and they were big mistakes. I have tried to correct them but the temptation to mess up is always there and I know it will be easier for me to remember if I have something solid to remind me everyday. Which leads me to my medium for this value...
Craft: Worked Wood- I chose wood because it has always spoken very strongly to me and because it is solid and hard but warm and welcoming at the same time. It also kind of reminds me of my parents who are solid and always there for me when I mess up.

Value: Family First- This value is one that has always been very important in my life but has become less so in recent times. Since I entered high school I have heeded the council that family must always come first, less and less. This is rather disappointing to me but true all the same. I caught myself up in the dazzling aura of school so much that I forgot what has been most dazzling to me all my life: my family.
Craft: Plastic Canvas- I chose this medium because I am well versed in its versatility and it also reminds me of my family. Plastic Canvas is unique in that you can throw it around, turn it every which way, turn it upside down and inside out, but until you physically cut it apart, it will remain with you in the form you gave it. This is like my family because no matter how much I ignore them and try to push them away, they are still there when I need them the most (and when I think that I definitely don't need them)

Value: Taking Joy in the little things- this is a value that has not seen my blog until today. I came across it when I finally gave in and looked to my childhood journal for inspiration in this quest of self-improvement. I have kept this journal for over 10 years (that it still isn't full should tell you how faithful I've been in chronicling my life up to this point) and I noticed that several of my entries were devoted simply to things I was thankful for having. I was astonished at some of the simple little things I had taken great joy in recording that I was thankful for.
Craft: Modge Podge- I chose this medium because since I discovered this value in my journal I thought it should recieve the recognition it is due in the form of incorporating copied pages from it into the project itself. Modge podge also doesn't require thoughts to be in perfect order which my journaled thought most certainly are not so I thought it was perfect for this value.

Value: Faith- I chose this value because it used to be such a big part of who I was and now it has somehow become less important to me. When confronted with opposition to my religion I shrink away somewhat and try to fade into the background where as a child I used to daydream of days when I could stand up for what I knew was right. I want to have that conviction once more.
Craft: Painting (I hope)- The I hope comes from that I am not a very good painter but it seemed that such an elegant topic (yet still simple) required an equally elegant medium. I decided that a painting would be the most appropriate representation of what I want my faith to be like again.

Value: Work (Hard and Honest)- This value was chosen because while I firmly believe that work is important I feel that I have lost the zest I once had for doing work myself. It has now become a heavy burden on my life that I seek only to ease. In my religion we believe that parents are responsible for teaching their children how to work. Well, my parents did that very well but apparently I have since decided to throw out much of what my parents taught me when I was young.
Craft: Writing- I decided to write something that would teach people about doing work and help remind me what true and honest work is.

That's all that I have for right now. Hopefully bu tomorrow I will have possible designs for my projects. Until tomorrow..

Jessie Jane

And the hunt continues...

As the title of today's update would suggest I am still on the hunt for both my crafts and my values. Although I did think of a few more today, I'm still not sure which ones I like best.
Values/Ideals:

• Work- I think this is a lost value in much of our culture including in me. I remember I used to have an excellent work ethic. Late assignments were tantamount to murder to me and finishing an assignment the night before was just plain not done. I'm not sure what happened. I could probably blame it on the stress and workload of middle school and high school but the truth is it was my own choices that made me into a procrastinator and someone who turns in assignments late.
• Choices have consequences- this is one of my mother's favorite sayings. While I have heard it many times in my life, I believe that I have forgotten the huge import that it has in my life. When I made the choice to join the IB program at school I ignored what my mother said (as in she told me it probably wouldn't be a good idea) and went on ahead. Now when I have difficulty in one of those classes I get a little less sympathy because it is me recieving the consequences of my actions. I believe that being reminded of this very important ideal is something very worthwhile for me to acheive.

Crafts:

• Working with wood- I discovered a while ago that I like to work with my hands. One of the things I found I like to do was build things and what better thing to use wood. I found that I really liked working with wood and I felt a very strong connection to it. Most of my furniture is wooden because I like how it looks and feels. Unfortunately, I haven't been working very much with wood except for a minor project I did last Christmas. I think that this would make a good medium for a value.
• Painting- Although I'm not the best artist in the world I do really enjoy painting things. I'm a very detail-oriented person, so when I paint something it's usually to some degree of minuteness. I haven done very many painting paintings but I do like to paint things and it's something I haven't done for a very long time except on very small projects. I also really enjoy different colors and finding how they look together and I think this would be a perfect medium to reexplore that in

Well that's about all I have for today. Hopefully I'll be able to fully hammer out my lists by tomorrow and be able to actually begin designing my projects and start working on them. Til tomorrow!

Jessie Jane

Day 2

So today was mostly a day for bouncing around. Today at school I bounced from place to place and in my head bounced around possible values that I could use for this project and even some crafts. The values that were bouncing around were:

• Family First- this is a value that I've been taught from the cradle but I feel like in recent months and years it has become less and less important to me despite that my parents keep trying to remind me of it whenever they get a chance.
• Education- this is another that has existed in the back of my mind for a while but I feel like I've become jaded to what true education is (the pursuit of knowledge) and just see it as the day to day drudgery of school (at this point High School)
• Faith- yet another that I've been taught from the cradle but one that I think I frequently overlook and it has fallen into disuse in my personal dealings. I feel that my lack of faith that God always has a plan for His children and that He loves us all has also jaded me to many of the occurances in my life.

Crafts:

• Working with cross stitch- this was once one of my favorite pasttimes and I'm rather sad that I have stopped working with it as much. I think I would like to use it to incorporrate one of my values.
• Using Plastic Canvas- another favorite pasttime fallen into disrepair, this one was one that first started to spark my creativity to create things that didn't have a pattern written for them. 
• Crocheting- I know it sounds terribly homemaker-ish but I really do like to crochet and I utilize the same technique in my crocheting as I do with plastic canvas, Bigweld's saying "See a need, fill a need." (Robots). I would find something that I needed a carrier or something for and I would make that carrier or whatever. I rather miss doing this.

Well those are what I have so far. I hope to have my lists of five values and five crafts completed by tomorrow or the day after. Then comes the fun part: creation. (I'm not sure whether to insert a dun dun duuun! or an "It's alive!"(Frankenstein- or some facsimile thereof) here so I will leave that up to viewer discretion). So that's all I have for my second day of work. Talk to ya tomorrow!

Jesse Jane

In the beginning...

So this blog is to be devoted to a project for my TAG class at school. This project is separated into three parts. Parts 1 & 2 are each two weeks long and Part 3 is to be a constant undercurrent during this month-long project. This first posting will be devoted to my plan for accomplishing Part 1. Our instructions for Part 1 are to "embark in a two week long intense, personal, and meaningful self-improvement project." As always my teacher has made our instructions incredibly open-ended. The basic idea for this part is to find some part of yourself that you want to make better, make a plan to accomplish it, and accomplish it within the two-week period given for this portion of the assignment. I decided that I wanted to reconnect with how I saw things as a child through the creation of various pieces of art utilizing methods that I learned a long time ago which I haven't used because I've allowed other things to get in the way.
My Plan:

1. Determine five ideals that I held as a child but either no longer hold for some unfathomable reason or still hold them but have forgotten them
2. Determine five kinds of art-form or handwork that I used to love as a kid or even not that long ago.
3. Make each ideal into a piece of art using a different art form for each one
4. Make the art MEANINGFUL!!!!!! 
5. Display this art in my room to help remind me what I should be holding dear in my life that I have maybe forgotten due to my allowance of other intrusions from day to day.
6. Take pictures/do some video of the art displayed and the processes that conceived them and make a scrapbook with the pictures so that even when the art has faded proof will remain that it existed and I can visit it later in my life when I maybe forget these things again or when others have forgotten them and should be reminded.
7. These pictures and videos will be posted here as I formulate what ideals and art I want to use, complete each piece of work and even some of when they're still in the process of being created :).

Sincerely,

Jessie Jane